End of day two..... Fast broken.

I have spent the entire day feeling sick. A bit shakey I can deal with, but feelings so sick I can't. Having two kids on my own and not wanting to get up or move at all is not cool. I'm very disappointed. Iv done much longer and not felt like this at all. I think I will try next week.

I was goin to have a banana before training tomorrow, but its been cancelled, and I have to go out for dinner. it's like a taster night, so iv eaten tonight, but I won't eat until the meal tomorrow. And just eat a few nibble bits. I'm hoping that once iv eaten tonight I will feel much better tomorrow. As I'm vegetarian hopefully alot of it will be meat and I can easily avoid.

So this is what I'm breaking my fast with

Day two :s

162.8 I want under 50 by next tues.

So I had to kind of break my fast today. I woke up with shakes and slight sweats...nothing major. Iv always got the shakes in the mornings on water fasts but today I felt extremely sick! By 10 am I was even worse, and I have two kids to look after. I cannot make myself ill for my own selfish reason so I decided to eat one banana. I immediately threw it up. I was expecting to feel better
Pretty fast but I just felt worse. I was a bit worried that I wasn't going to be able to keep anything down. I ate a slice of bread with a tiny bit or spreads cheese. Figured the protein might help me feel better. That came up to, but not all of it I don't think, and less projectile...so I'm back on water. I feel less ill, still not quite right but able to function.

I'm not impressed, iv done days and days on just water and never been sick like this. I just hope I start to feel better soon. More water :)

Day one done.....almost!

So it's now 9pm. Iv had water and chamomile tea :)

I have had a shit of shit days!!

So I fell of my horse this morning!! So damn pissed off, was my fault. Horse bolted, as he does, and I dithered in myself which way to go, so he changed direction to quick and I came off! Got back on, very pissed of with myself! In the proses I dropped my car bipper out of my pocket. Into the sand.... So could get my car goin. Didn't realise tho till I was goin home, so I spend half hr raking the sand... Thinking I literally had no hope at all.... But miraculously one of the other girls found it!!!!

So come home, go back out.... Lock myself out!! And husband has hidden the spare one somewhere!! Finally got in thank goodness!

So food.... Well as we were locked out and I had two kids to feed I took them out. There had chips and stuff...and the chips were new out, crispy and hot and did look well nice, but I was quite happy not eating any. I bought myself a bottle of water, and didn't even lick a bit of mayo :)

Dinner. I had a friend round with her kids. She was goin out for dinner, so I just fed the kids. Make it easy not to eat. This evening is quite hard, I have a dull ach in my belly which I quite like. I want something hot tho.... Tea it is :)

Fasting

163 ..... All that was lost has been replaced.... Most depressing.


So although I swore never to again I'm am embarking on a water fast. Only for two and a half days. Weds, thurs, then I have kick boxing on Friday, so one hr before I go I will eat one banana, and have a small handful of nuts when I have finished. Then Saturday I will eat only raw, so salad, fruits and nuts. A small amount of avocado to. Then Sunday I go out for Sunday dinner, and I wud look weird if I didn't eat. However I am vegetarian and so only have veg and potato. I will only have a very small amount of potato tho, as the friggin ladle the butter in it o.O Then I will have fruit in the evening.

Monday I plan to go to three eating times a day, without stretching my stomach back to its inflated, hugely accommodating size.


I know it's hard, but I have done 14 days on just water before, so it's defiantly manageable. My problem is maintaining control once I begin to eat again. I will be posting as I go, to keep me motivated. I feel so deflated and wobbly at the moment. I self harmed yesterday evening, not badly, but I havnt done it for three years. I don't feel bad about it but I'm not doin it again. This body has enough scars and I have kids that would be scared confused and completely alienated if they ever were aware of it. I need to get a grip of myself, get some self respect and stop doin things that make me unhappy.


Pure clean empty

Any comments or followers would be appreciated about now :)